I've had many conversations with people about this, but I don't think this will ever change. I can't stand to shampoo my hair. I don't know when the next time is that I will brush my hair. I would rather sleep on the floor without a pillow than on my bed with lots of fluffy pillows. Shopping isn't fun anymore. Brushing my teeth everyday seems like something only divas would do. I don't want this to change.

I remember anticipating how hard it was going to be to "adjust" to American life upon my arrival. I also remember realizing how I had no desire to adjust back to this way of life. That sounds so funny...adjusting to the life that I lived for over 18 years.

With that being said, coming back into this world was more difficult than I would have imagined. It was hard for obvious reasons. I can't decide which was worse: Finding a balance between American and 3^rd world culture and not having a Community. Don't get me wrong, I have a support system...I just have high expectations. I would apologize for having such high expectations, but after thinking it through, I am not sorry. I DO and I SHOULD have high expectations of the Church. I don't want to expect less so that I won't be disappointed because that's saying to Him that He isn't as great as He says He is. As sons and daughters of the KING we can't just sit around and sleep. (Why do you think other nations think all we do is sleep, eat, and go on our computers?)

I am used to being surrounded by PASSIONATE people. People who won't settle, and will never be satisfied with the amount of HIM they have seen. They aren't putting God in the box. They speak LIFE. They realize that the Bible isn't boring, it's a LIVING book full of TRUTH that is still applicable to this day and age. They strive to be Jesus with skin on. Being a disciple isn't some sort sort of thing from Jesus days, it is ATTAINABLE and is a DREAM.

I'm not surrounded by this. It is around me, but I'm not surrounded. Being surrounded by people like that encourages me and I strive to be who God wants me to be. It's a constant reminder of what I want and who I want to be. I feel like my spiritual growth has been significantly less since being without my team because they aren't there speaking life, rooting me on, and encouraging me...by just being themselves. I never realized how much I depended on them. I told them EVERYTHING, even things that seemed odd to tell other people. They said they enjoyed it because they love me. I had them to talk to for hours. I had them to worship with. They were there when I needed them to put mayonnaise in my hair, and I tried to be there for them whenever they needed me, plus some (Sorry Claire, I couldn't handle the boils/staph infection). We could do stupid things and it would be the best! (One thing that comes to mind is when we were talking after dinner about what happens when you microwave a raw egg. We did it. We put an egg in the microwave...and it exploded, later than we expected, which resulted in all of us screaming and jumping, as our housemate pulls in the driveway as we finish screaming. Oh yes!)

I miss this

*If I offended anyone in this post, that was not my intention. This is a rant. This post was written for you to see into my heart this week. This is what has been on my heart and what I have been processing. If somethind did offend you, please email me and we can discuss it. Please try to see this from my side...

 

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