One day in Guija, Mozambique I was sitting in a broken chair hoping it wouldn't collapse on me under the only bit of shade on the property. Out of no where I thought of asking the Lord what bit of scripture He thought I needed to hear right now. What he gave me didn't make sense at the time, but certainly does right now. He gave me this passage from Hebrews:

Later that night I was worshiping God under the ridiculously bright star lit sky when I felt God calling me to sing a different song. This song was "Faithful to the end." Here's a little excerpt from it:

He will come riding on the clouds with justice in his heart and a sword upon his side. And all will see the glory of this man. With fire in his eyes, He's jealous for His bride. He's faithful to the end. He's faithful to my heart. He's faithful to the end. He will come and marry me.

I really could not piece together what all these "God is faithful" things meant. Well, I obviously knew they meant that God is faithful, but why is God repeatedly showing me that He is faithful?

Since December when I first went to the orphanage, I've been trying to find what this one song is that I heard on the car ride up. One part of the song would play through my head and over and over, but I never knew where it came from. I would be singing, "You make all things work together for my good." Just last week after hours of looking through my I-pod, searching the internet, and asking people, I found the song!!! I do not think it is a coincidence that God let me find this song now, when I needed to hear it most. Here is an excerpt from it that I've been meditating on the past two weeks:

You stay the same through the ages. Your love never changes. There may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning. And when the oceans rage I don't have to be afraid because I know that You love me. Your love never fails. You make all things work together for my good.

On our first day of debrief, I put all the pieces together and realized what God was lovingly preparing my heart for. During our first meeting with Jimmy, Kelly, and Becks, we found out that my team and I are leaving South Africa and moving! When I heard this, I kinda freaked out. I love South Africa, and doesn't God want me to be here? I was recently looking through things that I wrote previously about how obvious it was that God wanted me to be in South Africa, and now I am moving? My heart rate was abnormally fast for the next hour. I didn't have a normal heart beat for a long time.

Why was this making me so nervous? Why was I freaking out so badly? When I calmed down and got past the almost hysterical, "I'm...leaving...South...Africa...?!" stage, I was able to see God in this. I could think back to God showing me his faithfulness and was immediately at ease, and excited!!!

I'm going to be honest here. For all the people on my team, including myself, going on this trip has taken a tremendous amount of faith. That seems like it would be an obvious thing, but let me explain why. Not one person on my team originally wanted to go to South Africa. We all wanted to go to Swaziland, or Ireland. So finding that out that we were going to South Africa instead of Swazi was difficult, but turned out to be exactly perfect for us all! In the beginning of training camp and at the beginning of our time in Mexico, we realized just how different our team was. We were the smallest team out of all the teams, and we didn't click without much effort on each person's part. We were so different from each other. Some of us, however, had difficulty in trusting that all 5 of us were put together for a reason, and that that reason was not because we were "leftover" Novas students who didn't fit on any of the other outreach locations. All five of us being together on a team didn't make much sense to us at that time. If we all went to the same high school, the five of us would more than likely not be in the same group of friends. We are still working on our team dynamics, but I am happy to say that we have overcome all of which I just mentioned. Something that I lived by in the beginning when I had doubts about my team and going to South Africa was found in Romans:

Sometimes these things that God plans for us aren't always the easiest, they are not what we would plan for ourselves. They include a lot of sacrifice and trust. It took all the faith I had to trust God that He would use me in South Africa, when I had wanted to go to Swaziland. When my team and I got to South Africa it was an even greater step of faith because the ministry we were going to be doing there was not at all what we had been expecting. All of the ministry was great, and so were the people, but it was just a shock because it is not what I was expecting. I can see now how it was in God's plans for us to come to South Africa, but in the beginning I couldn't see it. It was so easy, I'm ashamed to say, to think that God made a mistake in where he sent us. Either that, or His plans for us weren't as good as he says they are.

During debrief, we received a lot of prophesies. And don't worry, prophesies are totally okay and not scary, it's just receiving words from God for someone or a group of people. A girl on the Swazi team got this for my whole team:

That end part is what really got me. "There is no wickedness in Him." How true is that, but how far is that from how I was feeling? God didn't send us here so we could fail. He has plans for us that are good, and not evil, plans to prosper us and not to harm us. What was the hardest for me is that I wasn't seeing my team or I prospering as much as I had been hoping for. We weren't prospering, and it was partially our fault, and the other fault doesn't exist, because there is no way it could be avoided. God had planned for us to go to Mozambique and prosper there more than we could have ever imagined. During our period in South Africa we felt stuck was just a dry season, but we are about to be hydrated by God's perfect grace, faithfulness, and love.

When some of my team members and I got home from taking a trip into Swaziland yesterday, we were greeted by Myles who said he got a call telling us what the deal was with where we were going. We had expected to go to Zimbabwe, but Mozambique and Malowi were choices as well. Zimbabwe fell through, but the contacts in Mozambique replied the day that they were emailed about us coming to serve with them. All of us instantly knew that Mozambique was where the Lord wanted us. For me, I didn't see Zimbabwe in my future. I didn't feel like that's where God wanted us, or that it would work out. I was hoping for Mozambique because I know how challenging that country is, and I have come to love the people and have such a compassion for them. There is so much spiritual warfare there, and finally we are attuned to it, but that is what makes it most difficult. 60% of people in Mozambique are part of witchcraft groups. And in the bush, that percentage is significantly higher.

While in Mexico the Lord presented to me that some sort of ministry in Mozambique lies in my future, and I believe this is it. I have spent more time in Mozambique it seems than I have spent in South Africa. My passport is more than half full of Mozambican visas and will almost be full of them by the time I leave Africa. I don't know how to explain properly how I feel about Mozambique. Hopefully you all can see where my heart is by reading my blogs.

The most interesting, yet challenging, part of going to Mozambique is that we received less than 20 hours notice that we would be leaving. That means we have to buy 3 months of food, buy tents, pack our lives up, talk to family and friends on skype for potentially the last time before coming back to America, and try to finish resting up from our last trip to Mozambique and debrief. We had the choice to leave today, or to leave in a couple hours. If we chose to leave today, we would have one reliable driver the whole 15ish hour drive to central Mozambique. If we chose to leave a couple days later, it would take well over a day, we would potentially get robbed by being in koombies over night, and would have to switch koombies dozens of times. It seemed a lot easier to leave a couple days from now, because we could do all the things we wanted to do, but that's not what is happening.

At first I was feeling like I wanted to wait a couple days to go because I had people I wanted to say goodbye to. But that changed when we started to worship. God revealed his plans for my team to me. God told Jenny that He told me what He wants us to do. I was sitting there and just being silent, when God's plans became my plans. There really is no other way for me to describe it. Some of what was going through my head was:

This is what we have been waiting for! We have been waiting for God to make it clear where He wants us to go and for the right doors to open. All the doors have been opened! They not only opened, they were swung open!!! Us leaving almost immediately after finding out is such an act of worship. We are swallowing our desires of this world. We are tired, we don't have everything that we need to comfortably live in the bush for 3 months, we haven't said goodbye to anyone. But despite those things, God is still calling us to do this. We are dying to ourselves by leaving everything we've come to know and love in Africa to move to some bush town in Mozambique with an Africaans man that I would swear has the name of Yakkus and more than likely wears those disturbing African booty shorts!

If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. -Mark 8:34

We say we want to be Jesus. We say we want to be His disciples. Isn't this what Jesus would do? Isn't this what His disciples did? Jesus would get up and go wherever his Father wanted Him to go. His disciples would follow Him wherever he went. This is like that. Jesus is leading us to Mozambique, and we are following him there. We aren't going to say to Jesus, "Can you hold on a little bit? There are a couple things I wanted to do before I follow you." We are going to say, "Yes, Jesus! I will follow you wherever you lead me." That is what He wants from us. He wants us to trust Him with our lives. He wants us to follow Him at any cost, no matter what. Sometimes it is easy to follow Jesus, and sometimes it's hard, and sometimes there is something you really wanted to do before following Him. That is part of dying to yourself. All of us as Children of God need to work on this. Dying to ourselves isn't fun...that's why it's considered dying. You can only do this with strength that God gives you. We need to acknowledge that we really can't do anything without God. It is by grace alone that we can do what we do. There have been seasons in my life where there is no way I could have gotten through life if Jesus hadn't been carrying me the whole way, and I have a feeling that Mozambique will be the same way. It is such a humbling experience, and an even more amazing act of love of our King for us.

I pray that this sparked some sort of flame in your heart to die to yourself for someone who literally died for you. It's so much more than that, and I can only pray that you can see the truth in this.

A teacher of the Law came to Jesus and said, "Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go."

Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head."

Another disciple said to him, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father."

But Jesus told him, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead."

-Matthew 8:19-22

P.S. I just got word that the Iris Ministries staff from Mbonisweni is coming to the house I am staying at for a meeting. Saying goodbye to these people was a reason that some people wanted to stay in South Africa for a couple more days. We had come to love these people, and we have spent lots of time with them. This is another act of God's faithfulness, and another window opening! God is rewarding our faithfulness by bringing the people we wanted so badly to say goodbye to to us! God is so good to us!

That, and other variations of that, have been spoken over me ever since training camp in Gainesville, Georgia. To be honest, I never really knew what it meant. Get wrecked...like stop living like ignorant Americans? Don't bathe as much? Hold babies? I really had no idea, and in my time spent in Guija, Mozambique I learned what that term, "get wrecked," really means.

What is wrong with me that these things would not bring out a holy rage in me? The night all of my Novas team members and I left Mexico for Nicaragua, Uganda, Swaziland, South Africa, our director Tag gave us this letter. How I am feeling, or was feeling, brings me back to parts of this letter:

"'There is a lot wrong in the world, why don't you do something about it?' God has given us gifts to accomplish this task. The most important gift we suppress most of the time, but it is the gift we must use at every stage of our life. Anger. Anger at injustice."

For my trip from September to up about now, I was not angry at injustice. I had settled. And just thinking about it disgusts me. Me settling for the brokenness of this world disgusts me.

The first night we were in Guija, Mozambique we were talking to our contact about some of his life story. He is South African, and was in the army. Before he met Christ, he was racist. But since he has come to know Christ's heart, he has been purified from this racism and can see people the way that God sees them.

That really motivated me. I'm not saying I am racist, because I am not. It made me put into perspective that the problem was with my heart. I was not seeing God's people the way that He sees them. That is why I was not having this anger at the injustice of the world. When I made this realization, I began praying that God would let me see His people the way He sees them. Within a couple days, he answered this prayer. Everything changed.

As my team, our contact, and our translators walked through the community to do house visits, we could smell people brewing alcohol in their cauldrons over the fire from the streets. The smell was so strong, even though we were yards and yards away from it. As if being able to tell how bad alcoholism is in this community just with our noses, we found out some depressing information. Most of the men here go into South Africa for the year to make money for their families, since there is no work in Mozambique, and come home around Christmas and bring home their earnings. What happens sometimes is that the husband and the wife drink all of that money away that the husband made for the past year. All the money will be gone in a week. Whenever Tenny would receive donations of food, he would go out and give them to the more poor families in the community. He would find out later that they sold that food for alcohol. These people that he gave the food to ate maybe once a a week, and they sold that desperately needed food for alcohol.

My heart started to fall into even more pieces when we spent around a half hour visiting the local clinic. Almost every patient was there because of malnutrition. Men, women, babies. There were 3 older women that I got to pray for with Claire and Jenny, but then when we walked out of the women's ward, we sort of split up. We were heading towards the baby ward, but we didn't even need to walk into that ward, because it was overflowing. There were several mothers and their little babies just waiting to be admitted into the ward. I don't have any idea how to explain this sight to you. These were infants, but they didn't look like it. I couldn't fathom how they could possibly be as skinny as they were. Even if you used your imagination to see what these babies look like, you would be wrong because they are far more unhealthy than any human brain can visualize.

There was one baby that just tore me apart. We saw him on his mother's back as she walked into the clinic. Tenny pointed his hair out to us, to show that you can see malnourishment through hair color. I managed to find him in the baby ward because he stands out from all the other babies there. This baby was African, but his skin was yellow and his hair was orange. He did not have jaundice. This baby's story is that his mother is mentally challenged and doesn't feed him. Whenever someone gives her food for the baby, she eats all the food and gives nothing to her child. That is why this baby is so sick. When I looked at him, he really didn't look human. In addition to the yellow skin and orange hair, his body was also disfigured. His head was disproportionately large compared to the rest of his body, and you could see bulging blood vessels through the thin layer of skin over his skull as he screamed in pain. His limbs didn't look like they could be arms or legs because they were too frail. Even if he didn't have any baby fat on his bones, there was still no way that they could be so thin and frail. His body had been deprived of the nutrients needed for his bones to grow...and because of that, his bones didn't grow. They were as thin as they were when he was a newborn. As I prayed for this baby, it was something new. Sometimes when I pray for someone I feel like my prayer isn't going anywhere. Like the person I am praying for isn't receiving it, or that is bouncing against a brick wall and not going up to God. But this time was not one of those instances. As I prayed for this child, I didn't close my eyes, I stared into his undeveloped iris's. Staring into these eyes was like being lost in the heart of God. While I prayed for him, I could see how God felt about what was happening here in Guija, but specifically for this child. I felt like I was at the throne of God in heaven talking to God about this baby boy's life. If that's where I was spiritually, I don't know what was actually coming out of my mouth on Earth. Maybe it was English, or Shon-gon, or tongues...I have no idea, because I was lost in the heart of God.

The next day was when I completely broke. We were visiting mud huts that orphans living there. There was one group of huts that did something different than all the other places we had seen. The owners of the huts support HIV/AIDS positive women in the community who have children. This family gives these women and their children shelter and food, until the mother has built up enough strength to go home. A place that does that is really helpful, because there are so many HIV/AIDS victims in Guija. If this family wasn't supporting them, the mothers and their children would starve to death because the mother's don't have the energy to go into the fields for 16 hours a day and get food for themselves and their children.

Most of the people living in that community were out in the fields, so we only met one of the mothers. She was AIDS positive and she had 2 babies; one newborn, and one between the ages of 1 and 2 years old. Her older baby boy had full blown AIDS and was in unbearable pain. His skin had a tint of yellow, and he had orange hair, which means he is malnourished. What bits of skin were showing were covered in sores and scabs. There were so many scabs on his face that he was being attacked by the flies as he cried. There were flies going into his mouth as he cried out.

Since this mother has AIDS, she isn't allowed to breast feed. That is how most of the women pass the HIV/AIDS onto their children. I stood up off the grass mat and as I did this, the mother started to breast feed her newborn child.

After I had gained composure from that incident, I was able to think through it clearly. I realized the hopelessness that these women face. Because of the powdered milk boycott in Mozambique in the 1990's (A really unfortunate story. I have a lot of information about it, I just can't post it because of the Mozambican government), HIV/AIDS positive women have limited options for feeding their children. It is a deadly cycle. If you have AIDS, you can't breastfeed your babies. When you have AIDS you more than likely will not have the energy to work the long hours in the fields farming. Because you can't farm and sell the food, or even eat the food you farm, you won't have food to feed your baby. Powdered milk is the most ideal option to feed babies who can't be breast fed, but since it is illegal and ridiculously expensive, it is not an option. The mother is then faced with 2 very difficult and deadly decisions; the 1^st option is to breast feed the child even though it is illegal, and pass HIV/AIDS on to your child, and the 2^nd option is to follow the law and not breast feed your child. Because of this, the child won't get AIDS, at least from the mother, but the child is guaranteed to be malnourished. And because of the AIDS, there isn't much food coming in, so there would be no food for the child to eat to survive.

 

My beautiful team and I had just finished reading a chapter of Crazy Love, by Francis Chan. We were sitting underneath a tarp, the only shade that we had on our property in Guija, Mozambique. I started to feel restless, so I got up and went and grabbed a bucket and headed to the water well to wash my feet...they badly needed it. Their was a Momma already there with her younger daughter. They had quite a few water containers that they were filling with water, so I stood in line behind them to fill my bucket. Eventually she finished filling her water jugs and had them loaded in her little wheel barrel to bring back to her hut. Her daughter stayed behind at the well with me.

I pumped my bucket to the rim and sat on the outside of the well. I started splashing water on my feet to try to get some of the dirt to come off. It was unsuccessful. As I finished washing my last foot, I felt God whispering to me to wash this young girl's feet. If you know me well, you know that I don't like feet. It is norm #9 (a rule that my team has to follow) that there is no feet allowed near Cait. But I reluctantly asked her if I could wash her feet. She didn't understand what I said. Then I said it with hand motions, more confidently. Eventually the English to Shon-gon language barrier was broken, and she understood what I meant.

 

"Preach the Gospel always, if necessary use words." -St. Francis of Assisi

After both of her feet were as squeaky clean as could be, I wasn't sure what God wanted me to do from there. She then began to look at my watch and press all the buttons...which is guaranteed to happen with any child under 16 in Africa. And then she looked at my wrist on my other hand at looked at my bracelets. She saw one bracelet that she thought she was pretty and motioned for me to take it off. I put it on her wrist to see how it looked on her, and she was absolutely beaming.

This verse was flashing through my head throughout the whole bracelet ordeal, and I was feeling pleased with myself for following what Jesus commands us all to do. Then she started to look at my remaining bracelets, thinking they were pretty. I tried to hide my hand because I didn't want to give away another bracelet. I was okay with giving away one bracelet, but giving away more than that was just too much.

Later that night I was flipping through my bible looking for the verse that was flashing through my mind (Luke 6:30) earlier in the day. When I found it, my heart dropped. The verse previous to it, verse 29, says, "If someone takes your cloak, do not stop them from taking your tunic." What a hypocrite I am!!! All I can do with this is ask for forgiveness, and then ask the Lord to change my heart. That I would want to give not only my tunic, but my cloak...and be willing to throw in the shirt off my back too.

When I reflected on this later on during the week, I saw symbolism. The bracelet this girl chose was an Invisible Children bracelet, given to me by my friend Kyle who is now in Kenya. Invisible Children is based in Uganda. But, anyway, the symbolism is in the bracelet she chose. I can see how the children in Guija, and in a lot of parts of Mozambique, are invisible.

 

Last Friday I had a day of solitude. I locked myself in the only room with air conditioning and came out of the room maybe three times, only to use the restroom and get food. As soon as I settled myself, I began to ask the Lord how He wanted me to spend my day. And surprisingly, He didn't want me to read my bible all day, pray all day, or just lay down and receive truth from Him. He wanted me to read a book. He wanted me to read Jesus Freaks. In case you are not familiar with this book, it is a thick book all on martyr's stories. I read this book all in 2 days, and it gave me a paradigm shift. I have also been reading Barbarian Way, which was probably the best book I have read in years, and I am going to discuss points from there as well. Now, let me go further into some parts of those books, and some other pieces of scripture, that really made me look at the way I view God and my life.

"If the safest place to be is in the center of the will of God, then why is it that the biblical word for witness is actually the word for martyr? If the safest place to be is in the center of the will of God, then how do you explain the experience of Paul? Paul walked with God, and certainly whatever the will of God looks like, Paul had to have visited there at least a few times in his life. His journals, however described not a life filled with safety and certainty, but a life of adventure and danger." -The Barbarian Way

I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to to death again and again. Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was ship wrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my own countrymen, in danger from Gentiles, in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep. I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food. I have been cold and naked. -1 Corinthians 11:23-27

If a lot of us were in Paul's shoes, and had all the things he listed above, or even some of them, happen to us we would wonder why on Earth God is doing this to us and what we did wrong. But a lot of times we forget that our will isn't always God's will. That isn't to say that God wants everyone to be in prison and be flogged and terrible things like that, but it is a possibility. Maybe God's plans for you are to go to all corners of the Earth preaching Faith, Hope, and Love. Who knows, certainly I don't. But me, personally, and people I know, get frustrated when things you think God wants you to do include suffering. God wants you to witness to people about His Son, and sometimes when you do that, you get in trouble, lose a friend, get made fun of, or sometimes worse. And that is hard to take. We are so wired to think that God wants what is comfortable for us, and that is far from the truth.

-John 21:15-22

Jesus asked Peter 3 times if he really loved Him,when it was only necessary to ask once. He asked those 3 times because of the future Peter would face. In the end, Peter was martyred. It was hard for Peter to hear that he was going to be "lead where you don't want to go." Peter turned from Jesus and saw the other disciple with him and asked, "what about him?" God has different plans for all of us. Some people are going to have a lot of suffering in their lives, will die for their faith, or will lead a life without persecution or without suffering. We sometimes forget about the bad parts of following Jesus.

To live is Christ and to die is gain. -Philippians 1:21

Why do we consider things that come along with following Jesus bad, then? Maybe they make things uncomfortable and there is suffering involved, but isn't the Cause far greater than the suffering? Losing a friend, compared to glorifying your Maker. Dying, while proclaiming God's Name.

When Christ calls a man, he bids him, "Come and die."

I mentioned this quote in a blog from Mexico, but it still stands true. It stands true literally in some cases, but it also stands true when it comes to the way we live our lives. To follow Christ, we need to die to ourselves daily. To have a relationship with Jesus involves some sort of death, and it's not up to you to decide if it will be literally or not.

"Our mission may not involve hanging on a cross, being jailed, or being burnt at the stake here in America, but we have other, more invisible obstacles. Ours is a society built by pride, materialism, and dedication to the status quo. In a world built on free will, instead of God's will, me must be the freaks. While we may not be called to martyr our lives, we must martyr our way of life. We must put our selfish ways to death and march to a different beat. Then the world will see Jesus." -Michael Tait

Some Christians haven't even attempted to think about whether or not they would die for Jesus because they haven't really been living for Him. -DC Talk

Jesus is extending his hand to you. He is inviting you to dance with him. He asks, "May I have this dance...every day of your life?" His gaze is fixed on you. He is captivated by your beauty. He is smiling. He cares nothing of the opinion of others. He is standing. He will lead. He waits for your response. How will you respond? Will you leave Jesus waiting outside your front door? Or will you run out to him and let Him take you wherever He wants, and let Him sweep you off your feet? Jesus is waiting for you.

Hello Family and Friends!

So I am going to have a blog coming up about Christmas, but since Christmas isn't really finished here, I am going to post a blog about my team, and people I am working closely with. I have pictures of everyone, and then I will do a little introduction. Hopefully this will help you to understand why I love them, see how they resemble Jesus, and will put a face to the name. Enjoy!

This is Rebecca, or who we all like to call Claire! She is an amazing, amazing, woman of God. She is the most dedicated servant of God I've ever met. I've never seen her frustrated, and if she does, it won't be in a way you would expect. She won't blow up, she will handle it the way you should. She is persistantly persuing God and His truth, Trying to reteach herself things that she believed about Christ and dying to herself. If there is a situation that is stressful and someone is having a hard time, she is saying, "We need to pray." Just the other night, I was getting really nervous about something while we were driving, and she prayed for me. I have no idea what she was praying because our car was so full of noise, but I felt peace. She has a great attitude about everything. Some of the members of my team tease her for some of the noises she makes, and call her a squirrel and she takes it so well! We could all bear to learn how to handle instances like that from her. You literally need to ban her from the kitchen because she WILL stay in the kitchen and serve the heck out of my team. She serves not because the Bible "says to", but because that is the person God brought her to be, and she does so with a huge, beautiful smile on her face.

Garrett Berkeley

His name sounds a lot like Carrot Broccoli, but his real name is Garrett. He is from Minnesota and is proud of it (I just found out tonight that almost ALL Minnesotans are proud of their state). He is very gifted in music. He has lead worship at IHOP (International House of Prayer, in Kansas City) and has led worship on many different occasions and helped start a church. He has such a passion for Jesus. I know that all Christ followers do, but I've never met someone who strives for it as much as he does. He says he wants to be "Jesus with skin on." We have the Holy Spirit in us, which means we have Jesus in us if we let Him. He wants that to happen. He wants to be Jesus more than anything. He is so connected with the Spirit, it is inspiring. He is so willing to be used by God...in ways that I am afraid of, mostly spiritually. He has helped me a lot on my journey to gaining confidence. He helped pinpoint what areas I could use improvement on and helped to encourage me. He really is helping me to find my identity in Christ. He has such great leadership skills, and can come up with a way to make everyone happy when it seems it would be impossible. He can always make me laugh, even when it is stupid, despite the fact that I laugh at just about anything and everything. He is just the goofiest person, he would make you laugh too!

Lets start off with this...Jenny is from Alaska! We like to tease her about being Alaskan, having a polar bear, living in an igloo, and being an Eskimo version of a hillbilly. Jenny is the link between the genders in my team. She links Clair and I to Garrett and Myles. I don't even know what that means, really, but she does it. She has such a heart for all things of God. While we were in Mozambique she and I were discussing some events in Exodus, and different parts of scripture, and halfway through the conversation, she expressed how excited she was being able to talk about truth like that way. After the conversation, I took a nap and she took my bible. When I woke up, she was in tears while reading my bible because of how beautiful God's truth is. She loves it and constantly seeks it. She initiated a nightly prayer time with Claire and I, which started a lot of things going which was great. She has such joy. If there is ever a rain storm, you don't even have to look outside to know that Jenny is out there dancing in it. She isn't afraid to climb the mountain in our back yard in Nelspruit with the boys, and is the only reason we eat healthy. She is always conversating with people, and just being a light.

Blair is one of our leaders that we got to spend 2 and a half months with in Mexico and South Africa. I'm overwhelmed with even where to start. He is just amazing! He has such an inspirational story, and the Lord uses him in so many ways. He has an intense and almost intimidating vibe to him, but he is not like that. He is intense because he is constantly thinking about how he can "go harder" for God. He has been a vital part of our team in pursuing God's plans. He has been with us from the beginning, that is back in August for training camp, so we have been able to get to know him very well, and him know us very well. God uses him as a way to communicate to His children. He speaks life that is straight from God. When we are praying as a team for someone, he prays something that pierces the heart because he is so in tune with God's Spirit. He was on the First Year Missionary program with AIM last year and grew tremendously. He spent his training period in South Africa, and his outreach period in Swaziland. He used to be the drummer for Becoming the Martyr (a metal band in Canada), but left the band because of Jesus. It's all because of Jesus.

We call her Becks. I'm going to bring you back to training camp. I was sitting in front of a mirror, weeping and petrified, because God was shaking my world and showing me true freedom. I thought I had been freed from my past sins, but I had not. Becks came up to me and gave me a permanent marker, instead of an erasable marker, to write all the things I am free from on this mirror. I had never talked to her about this. God told her. I am sure that doesn't make much sense, but it was an intimate moment between the two of us. I have come to love her so much, and I really miss her so much right now. God called her to work with college aged people wanting to go into missions, and it is so obvious! She has such a passion for my age group and it just radiates from her. She loves living in community and has a heart for Muslim people. The last night she was with us in South Africa, we were sitting around a campfire. And there was, what looked like, lightning going on. We couldn't see the bolts, we could just see the flashes. She said, "God is taking pictures of what community looks like," or she said it somewhat close to that. She has interceded for me, and for other people on my team, and for people with the Novas Project as a whole. She loves God's people so much, and the only thing she loves more than that is God Himself.

 My hosts! Kent and Shay are from Florida, and Terry is from Ohio. Kent and Shay run the Betor House, originally. The owners of the house chose them to run it. Terry started staying with them last year, while she was still a participant on AIM's World Race. God had planned for her to stay in Nelspruit and work with Kent and Shay at the Betor House. They are all lovely people. Kent is a big guy, but has an even bigger heart. When you are around him, he will erase your bad mood and make you just smile. If he doesn't do something specific to make you smile, just his laugh and the way he talks will make you smile. He says his gift is mercy, and his love language is touch. He is so merciful and it takes something big to make him upset. He loves hugs and just being close to people. Shay is an awesome woman. She is honest, is hilarious, and has a one-of-a-kind personality. I don't really know how to explain her, because she is so unique.  Terry is awesome. We have connected  and I'm able to look up to her. She has such a distinct laugh that you can identify from across the room. When she speaks, it is with Christ's authority. When she loves, it is with God's love. When she listens, it is with God's ears. She is absolutely consumed. Their ministry is marketplace ministry. Have you ever noticed that almost all of the miracles performed in the New Testament were performed not in the church, but in the marketplace? Think about why their ministry, other than running the missionary house, would be marketplace ministry.

Frank and Cindy

Frank and Cindie are a couple that live in White River, next to us at the orphanage. They run the baby house, and live with Welcome. Welcome is a 15-18 month AIDS, TB, and malnourished baby. They just spent 2 months in Pemba, Mozambique, at Iris Ministries' Missions School. Now they are back in South Africa and are helping my team a lot. I am at their house pretty much everyday. Sometimes I am there to play with Welcome, sometimes I need to borrow a knife (since we don't have one) or just to talk. I always take something away from talking with them. Sometimes it is about taking care of babies, or it's about support raising, or about spiritual health of missionaries or just about anything! They are great people and are teaching me a lot. They don't get annoyed that we come to their house asking to borrow something just about every day either. That says something!

When you meet Tiesa, all you can think about is love. What love means, how she loves other people, how she loves God, how she loves to serve, and what you need to change about how you love. Ever since she found Jesus she has been radical. She is so radical for Jesus, and she doesn't have to think about doing it! Her love for Him is so deep that she can't help but be radical for Him. Her wedding day is a perfect example. She and her husband went out into the streets of Mozambique and invited the poor to come to the wedding. They had 1,500 poor people at the wedding ceremony, and 3,000 poor people at their wedding feast. At their reception they preached the gospel and healed whoever needed to be healed. That day 300 people found Christ. Who does that? I have never heard of anyone doing that, but that really puts things into perspective for me! She spent 5 years in upper Mozambique working with an untouched tribe, and did amazing things. Iris Ministries sent her and her husband, Gene, to start the Michael's Children Village in White River/Back Door, South Africa. It has been running just since July, which is hard to believe, because they are striving. Tiesa is an example of how you should be living for Jesus.

Tear down the walls, see the world. Is there something we have missed? Turn from ourselves, look beyond, there is so much more than this. And I don't need to see it to believe it cause I can't shake this fire burning deep inside my heart. Look to the skies, hope arise. See his majesty revealed. More than this life, there is love. There is hope and this is real. -Tear down the walls, Hillsong United

Right now I am staying in White River but we are doing all our ministry in a Suswati community called Back Door. It is a very poor community located on the upper part of one of the many mountains located in this region of South Africa. The Iris Ministires base we are working with has a church in Back Door, along with a bible school and a feeding center. We were helping out at the feeding center up until the week of Christmas, and we will start back up again in January. We hang out with the children for a bit then everybody gets together and we spend 30 minutes or so doing a discipleship lesson. We will sing a couple songs in English and in Suswati, chuck FULL of body motions. Then we will give a devotion on something that kids ages 1-18 yrs old can understand equally, which is extremely difficult to come up with. After the lesson, the kids all run to where the women from the community serve the food. I am always up front helping the little ones (the one to two year olds) get their plates and bring it back to a non-crowded space of dirt to eat their food without spilling it everywhere. Everyone gets the same portion of food, whether or not you are a 1 year old baby girl or a 60 year old go-go. There is always pop, something that probably has cabbage in it, and sometimes chicken (the chicken isn't at all what you and I are used to. None of the white people can eat it because it will make us really sick. The people who receive food at the feeding center are used to that quality of food and it doesn't affect their digestive system). The first day we were there, there were over 200 kids receiving food.

The first day, while I was trying to keep the little ones from falling on top of each other at the front of the line, Blair (one of my leaders who are spending time with us) came up to me. He was holding a baby boy, who couldn't have been more than 18 months old, and said to me, This one was being squished in the back. " So I brought him right up to the front of the line and got him his plate and found him a spot on the ground to eat.

After all the kids had received their food, I was walking around the center to see where the Spirit would lead me. While I was walking around, Jenny (my teammate) came up to me and asked me to follow her. There were 4 boys all sitting around one plate of food. Three of the boys had to be from 4 years to 6 years old. The other boy was an infant. Four brothers. They were sharing their plate because they thought they had to share their food because that's what they always had to do. Eat a little bit of food, and share it amongst themselves. Everyone else had their own plate to themselves, but they honestly thought they had to share it and hide it. Like it was something to be ashamed of. Like it was something they were guilty of. Guilty of eating food? Ashamed of having the first meal they'd had in a few days?

After getting them all set up to leave, I sent them on their way and finished my walk over to where the kids were finishing their food. I found that baby boy that Blair gave to me earlier and he was covered in dirt (which is sand here). I cleaned the sand off his face, but he continued to lose his balance and fall over, since he was still learning how to walk steadily. He was holding something in his hand that he kept trying to eat. I thought it was a rock, but even a baby would know not to eat a rock! I took it from him to find out what it was and to clean it off for him, and I found out it was a chicken bone. I gave it back to him not knowing what to do because he had been working on that thing for a long time. He fell down again and started crying. He wasn't crying because he scraped his knee, or because he hurt himself. He was crying because his chicken bone was covered with sand, and he couldn't eat it. I picked him up to comfort him, but I was so preoccupied with not letting the tears welling up in my eyes fall down my cheek.

This was one of the hardest days I've faced since being on the field. Hands down. I am not positive of what I learned from this. All I can think of is: LOVE. This song was playing in the background of my mind the whole time this was going on.

Jesus loves me, this I know,
For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong;
they are weak but He is strong.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress. -James 1:27