Depraved Indifference
“Jesus, I want to be nothing. I am nothing. I am nothing. They ARE royalty. They are God!
Be like heaven? Odd-different- selfless- spend yourself on others- STAND OUT! Let them see who you are before they know you!
Don’t mess with the Father’s heart!
My future child- I would claw through a concrete wall with my bear hands. I would do whatever it takes. “Cait, that is my child.” GO!!!
Am I doing this for the orphans? For the hopeless? Let me see this cause.
The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few.
God, can you please call me to have nothing too? I don’t care anymore!
Hands, feet, heart.
Let your heart beat on this Earth THROUGH ME.
Sin –> Jesus Christ
Children dying –> Jesus Christ
He is a Father to the Fatherless, through me!
God will change a man.
Heroes are made because they are moved in their heart to shed blood.
JESUS WAS MOVED.
Do I care at the level that God cares?
I’m willing to fight for what is yours. I will go, Lord.
Am I willing to sweat drops of blood for you? Will I do whatever it takes to rescue your little ones?”
“Oh Lord, break me. It is only when I am broken that you will be set free. I want to set you free into this world– release you from me to the world. Wake me up. I need to wake up! Electrify and jolt my heart awake. Make this heart of stone a heart of flesh again! Let it resemble yours. Let every piece of my broken heart have YOUR name on it! Let people know that I belong to you. I’m not my own. I’m Cait, but that is just the temple you HAND CHOSE to let YOUR SON live inside. God, whatever it takes, I need people to see you in me, and that there wouldn’t be a ‘me’ in the picture. This is the very reason you put me here! Let it be fulfilled. I want to love like you love. And I’m not convinced that living the way I am is part of that. You weren’t living comfortably, Jesus! You didn’t have a home! How is it that I do? I need to be out there. I don’t want to preach AT people. Just BE You. You are God and people WILL notice. You are pretty hard to miss.
Oh God, break me, set me free! Wake me up to you! I don’t want to be asleep anymore. I want to follow you to all corners of the world- even places that are hidden from the world. God take me there. Use me me there. I am your hands and feet. Let me go! Bring me to the point where I am ready. I am desperate- desperate for You. Your Spirit. Your love. Your heart. Your Kingdom.
Now.
Jesus.
Come to me and come alive in my life. Lead me out of this desert. Lead me into your lap and onto the battlefield.
I am yours.”
Love,
Cait
Cait
Thank you.
🙂
Cait, It was so good to get an update in your blog. Yes, its been one heck of a year. You have grown spiritual, emotionaly and personally. Watching you grow has put a smile on my face. Not only have you grown but I have grown along with you. I will continue to watch your progress with your walk with God. I love you!!
DAD
Cait, so good to see a new writing. Once again i am so impressed of how you write and express yourself. You have grown into a beautiful, intelligent young lady that I am so proud and admire.
love,
Aunt Gina