For the past month or so this topic has
been popping around in my head. Obsession. This blog, and a couple
blogs following this, are all going to be on this topic. If I did
them all in one blog, it would be obnoxiously long and way longer
than my already too long blogs that I post regularly…and you
probably wouldn’t read it or care what I have to say. So, because I
love you, I’m splitting it up.
Recently, I have had days where I feel
like crap. I feel sad, devastated, guilty, and upset. I feel like
this because for a period of time I forgot about God. A lot of the
time, He is all I think about, literally. Growing closer with Him,
obeying Him, thanking Him, loving Him, talking to Him…I’m not about
to explain my relationship with God. But some times I forget that God
is there, and it is the worst feeling I have ever felt to date. And
something that God is showing me, and part of the journey he is
taking me through, is centered around this topic: Obsession.
Obsession with Him.
like crap. I feel sad, devastated, guilty, and upset. I feel like
this because for a period of time I forgot about God. A lot of the
time, He is all I think about, literally. Growing closer with Him,
obeying Him, thanking Him, loving Him, talking to Him…I’m not about
to explain my relationship with God. But some times I forget that God
is there, and it is the worst feeling I have ever felt to date. And
something that God is showing me, and part of the journey he is
taking me through, is centered around this topic: Obsession.
Obsession with Him.
A lot of this blog is taken from
Francis Chan’s book, Crazy Love. His book really spoke to me on this
topic. The chapter, “profile of the obsessed” was written for me.
It was full of convictions and repentance, and new prayers and goals.
Francis Chan’s book, Crazy Love. His book really spoke to me on this
topic. The chapter, “profile of the obsessed” was written for me.
It was full of convictions and repentance, and new prayers and goals.
Obsessed- To have the mind excessively
preoccupied with a single emotion or topic.
preoccupied with a single emotion or topic.
“When we are truly in love, you go to
great lengths to be with the one you love. You’ll drive for hours to
be together, even if its only for a short while. You don’t mind
staying up late to talk. Walking in the rain is romantic, not
annoying. You’ll willingly spend a small fortune on the one you’re
crazy about. When you are apart from each other, it’s painful, even
miserable. He or she is all you think about; you jump at any chance
to be together.”
great lengths to be with the one you love. You’ll drive for hours to
be together, even if its only for a short while. You don’t mind
staying up late to talk. Walking in the rain is romantic, not
annoying. You’ll willingly spend a small fortune on the one you’re
crazy about. When you are apart from each other, it’s painful, even
miserable. He or she is all you think about; you jump at any chance
to be together.”
Is this the way you feel about God?
Will you do crazy things to be with God and spend time with Him? Will
you stay up extra late or wake up extra early to talk with God? Would
you get annoyed if something that God wanted you to do made you wet
or tired? Would you be willing to spend any amount of money for God?
Does it make you crazy to be away from God? Is He all you think about
it?
In “Profile of the obsessed” of
Crazy Love, Francis Chan goes through what he thinks it means to be
obsessed with Jesus. These are some of the things he listed. People
who are obsessed with Jesus:
Crazy Love, Francis Chan goes through what he thinks it means to be
obsessed with Jesus. These are some of the things he listed. People
who are obsessed with Jesus:
- Give freely and openly, without
censure.
- Love those who hate them and who can
never love them back.
- Aren’t consumed with their personal
safety and comfort above all else.
- Care more about God’s Kingdom
coming to this earth than their own lives being shielded from pain or
distress.
- Believe that Jesus
talked about money and the poor so often because it was really
important to him.
- Are more concerned with obeying God
than doing what is expected or fulfilling the status quo.
- Will do things that don’t make sense in
terms of success or wealth, on this earth.
- Know that you can never be “humble
enough” and so they seek to make themselves less known.
- Do not consider service a burden.
- Take joy in loving God by loving His
people.
- Genuinely think that others matter as
much as they do and they are particularly aware of those who are poor
around the world.
- Orient their lives around eternity;
they are not fixed only on what is here in front of them.
I hate this quote here. I only hate it
because it shows how messed up I am. But it really puts a person in
their place. Brace yourselves.
The critical question for our
generation- and for every generation is this: If you could have
heaven, with no sickness, and with all the friends you ever had on
earth, and all the food you ever liked, and all the leisure
activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beauties you ever
saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, and no human
conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with
heaven, if Christ was not there? -John Piper
I have spent a lot of time in the Old
Testament since coming on this trip. There is really not much
mentioned about heaven and hell in that part of the bible. The New
Testament is full of references to heaven and hell. Nowadays, it
seems that a lot of people claim to be “Christians” and say they
believe in Jesus…only because they have the ultimate reward:
heaven. (I’m sure you are already aware of all this.) But when they
say what they think heaven is going to be like, there is next to no
reference to God. From what I’ve gathered, heaven isn’t going to be
like staying in a mansion with all your favorite people when you are
as beautiful or handsome as you wish you were now and having an
unlimited gift card to Shady Maple Smorgasbord. It’s going to be more
of us being in constant worship of God and being surrounded by His
glory. All we can do is worship Him, because of who God is. We can’t
help but be on our faces in front of him, and then when we would try
to look up to see God’s face again we would fall back on our faces
because of His glory!
Testament since coming on this trip. There is really not much
mentioned about heaven and hell in that part of the bible. The New
Testament is full of references to heaven and hell. Nowadays, it
seems that a lot of people claim to be “Christians” and say they
believe in Jesus…only because they have the ultimate reward:
heaven. (I’m sure you are already aware of all this.) But when they
say what they think heaven is going to be like, there is next to no
reference to God. From what I’ve gathered, heaven isn’t going to be
like staying in a mansion with all your favorite people when you are
as beautiful or handsome as you wish you were now and having an
unlimited gift card to Shady Maple Smorgasbord. It’s going to be more
of us being in constant worship of God and being surrounded by His
glory. All we can do is worship Him, because of who God is. We can’t
help but be on our faces in front of him, and then when we would try
to look up to see God’s face again we would fall back on our faces
because of His glory!
One way that I have been challenging
myself with the heaven topic is trying to live like the prophets and
Israelites who sought God’s face in the Old Testament. They didn’t
know what was going to happen when they died. I doubt they had any
idea of there being a heaven. But without references to the
afterlife, they still loved God and followed Him with all that was in
them. They still made sacrifices for God, and probably would put us
to shame with the way they worshiped God and sought Him. The way I am
challenging myself is to try to put heaven out of the picture. I want
to follow God and sacrifice everything for Him just because of all
that He is, and because of how Glorious he is, not because I get to
go to heaven. The results have been quite interesting. I am learning
a whole new kind of love.
myself with the heaven topic is trying to live like the prophets and
Israelites who sought God’s face in the Old Testament. They didn’t
know what was going to happen when they died. I doubt they had any
idea of there being a heaven. But without references to the
afterlife, they still loved God and followed Him with all that was in
them. They still made sacrifices for God, and probably would put us
to shame with the way they worshiped God and sought Him. The way I am
challenging myself is to try to put heaven out of the picture. I want
to follow God and sacrifice everything for Him just because of all
that He is, and because of how Glorious he is, not because I get to
go to heaven. The results have been quite interesting. I am learning
a whole new kind of love.
There are so many good stories in the
Old Testament, but there are tons of instances where our “favorite
Bible characters” run to God for every little thing. A common
question I’ve been coming to the past week with my reading is,
“Should I go to war with these people?” and, “Will You deliver
me from these people?” I’ve been learning a lot about David, and
how although he royally screwed up, God still considered him “a man
after God’s heart.”
Old Testament, but there are tons of instances where our “favorite
Bible characters” run to God for every little thing. A common
question I’ve been coming to the past week with my reading is,
“Should I go to war with these people?” and, “Will You deliver
me from these people?” I’ve been learning a lot about David, and
how although he royally screwed up, God still considered him “a man
after God’s heart.”
Imagine God referring to you as a man
or woman after His heart. How amazing would that be? That’s what I
want to be. I’m not totally sure if it’s even okay for me to want
that…but I just want more of God. I want more Jesus. I want more of
the Holy Spirit. I want to be obsessed, like the Owl City song I just
heard as I typed the ending of this blog. God is so funny, by the
way. It’s like He takes over my I-pod and plays songs that He wants
me to hear, or that He wants to me to share with you! How awesome is
that! God, as unfathomably big as He is, goes to all the trouble to
make a certain song play while I was writing this blog so I could
tell you about it! It never gets old, and I hope it never does. If I
haven’t told you already, I really love blogging for those of you who
read these and can handle my rambling and entirely too long blogs. I
love that God speaks things to me for you guys. I never know who
needs to hear what He tells me, but I have faith that whoever that is
hears it and receives it. Thank you all so much for reading these,
all the encouragement, and lifting me up in prayer every day. Please
don’t ever hesitate to contact me at [email protected] with
prayer requests of your own or with questions or comments that you
don’t want to leave on my blog page or just to say “Hello!”. As
much as I am loving my time in Africa, I look forward to being
reunited with all of you in America next month!
or woman after His heart. How amazing would that be? That’s what I
want to be. I’m not totally sure if it’s even okay for me to want
that…but I just want more of God. I want more Jesus. I want more of
the Holy Spirit. I want to be obsessed, like the Owl City song I just
heard as I typed the ending of this blog. God is so funny, by the
way. It’s like He takes over my I-pod and plays songs that He wants
me to hear, or that He wants to me to share with you! How awesome is
that! God, as unfathomably big as He is, goes to all the trouble to
make a certain song play while I was writing this blog so I could
tell you about it! It never gets old, and I hope it never does. If I
haven’t told you already, I really love blogging for those of you who
read these and can handle my rambling and entirely too long blogs. I
love that God speaks things to me for you guys. I never know who
needs to hear what He tells me, but I have faith that whoever that is
hears it and receives it. Thank you all so much for reading these,
all the encouragement, and lifting me up in prayer every day. Please
don’t ever hesitate to contact me at [email protected] with
prayer requests of your own or with questions or comments that you
don’t want to leave on my blog page or just to say “Hello!”. As
much as I am loving my time in Africa, I look forward to being
reunited with all of you in America next month!
I can finally see
That you’re right there beside me.
I am not my own
For I have been made new
Please don’t let me go
I desperately need you
-Metor Shower, Owl City
That you’re right there beside me.
I am not my own
For I have been made new
Please don’t let me go
I desperately need you
-Metor Shower, Owl City
This post is awesome. Motivation is a really interesting thing to think about. I want to worship and serve the Lord simply because of who HE is and because of his powerful love in my life! I want the whole world to experience HIS love! But sometimes there are distractions, and I do things for the wrong reason. Something this made me think of that I think you might like is a missions trip I went on with my youthgroup two summers ago to Aliquippa, PA. The guy in charge of everything there (He was a missionary TO America, from Australia, way cool) challenged us in the beginning of the week to pray the Lord’s Prayer, and then envision the Lord’s Kingdom Come To Earth, and what that would physically look like. Then we made it part of our mission that week to pray for those things, and when possible, make them happen. Just another interesting perspective on Heaven. Food for though, anyway 🙂
-Another Cait 🙂
Cait, another awesome blog. You are right, everyone has a different interpetation of what heaven is. People have many different thoughts of what it will be like but reading your words and how you have grown since September 2009, makes my mind think differently. Only 29 days till we see you…make the most of your final month in everything you do!!!
DAD
Cait, I am praying for you! I really enjoy reading your blogs! They are a challenge and an encouragement. Can’t wait to see you!
I love your blogs and share them with everyone who will listen. I even print them out for friends who can not access or have a computer. Imagine that! We all love to ready your entries. A girl friend of mine told me you spoke to her specificaly in your blog “I will show my weakness”. I will miss your blogs when you are home. I pray that one day I will be able to meet you.
Your friend in Christ.
Ms Julie
You are just so special, and every blog you write has so much meaning and hits home to everyone. Once again, you are amazing. And yes,I am becoming speachless, because you say it all!! Yes, ME SPEACHLESS!! I love you, admire you, miss you so much, and think of you every day.
Love Aunt Gina
That’s a GREAT quote by John Piper. This is a great blog Cait! Wow!
Cait, I love your obnoxiously long blogs, and I love you!!! You’re right that God speaks to me through you in your blogs. A LOT! This was another wonderful blog 🙂 Seriously – can you continue your blogs after you come home?