We do not have a high priest who is
unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has
been tempted in every way, just as we are- yet was without sin. Let
us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may
receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. -Hebrews
4:15-16

If I must boast, I will boast of the
things that show my weakness. -2 Corinthians 11:30

Why would someone ever want to openly
boast about something? Let alone boast about their weaknesses? Aren't
those things you shouldn't be proud of? But boasting about weaknesses
somehow reminded me of how I articulated myself in my previous
blog...Well, just talking about weaknesses reminded me of that blog,
and it showed me how I should be boasting about them, not being
ashamed of them. The verse I just referenced really convicted me. I
was being prideful and was not living how Jesus calls us to live. I
realized that I was trying to do things on my own, and not through
the strength of Christ. I am at a point in my walk with Christ, and
because of what I am doing in Mozambique, where I can only make it
through the day if I run to Christ. It is very good, but challenging
because now more than ever every step I make is in surrender. It's
funny because I thought I was living like that before. I was so
wrong.

• I don't love Jesus how He calls me to
  love Him.

• I fail to treat others like I would
  treat Christ.

• According to how the New Testament
  authors define love, I have no love.

• I don't understand why I was chosen by
  God, and struggle with it.

• I doubt that God wants to use me as a
  tool to heal people's bodies and hearts, and prophesy his words.

• I sometimes think that if God knows I
  want something, He purposely won't let me have it (like marriage).

• I worry that I view heaven as a
  paradise and not a place of eternal worshiping of God the Father.

• I
  have trouble accepting God's forgiveness and still feel ashamed for
  things I've done.

• I don't believe that God finds me as
  beautiful as He says He does, and sometimes that isn't enough for me.

• I look to other people for love and
  acceptance, instead of God.

And those are just 10 weaknesses that I
could think of off the top of my head.

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and
renew a steadfast spirit within me. -Psalm 51:10

So I really don't know at all why God
has been putting these things on my heart. Maybe it is because pride
was getting in the way. Maybe because I was thinking all the things
I've done was through my own strength, when it wasn't? Perhaps it's
because for a while I was feeling like I wasn't as bad of a person as
the Bible says I am and that grace wasn't as great as people say it
is. I know that I've messed up, but I've not murdered or robbed
anyone, so I'm really not THAT bad. Right? Not at all.

This is my boast, or at least part of
it. I really felt like God was wanting me to share this with all of
you. I am not sure of what it means to boast about your weaknesses,
and why God wants us to do that, but I am trying to be obedient here.
As you can see I have weaknesses, like everyone out there. I was
ashamed for all of you back home to hear about them because I thought
you would view me differently, but it really doesn't matter anymore.
It is good to have weaknesses, because God shines through them. My
prayer is that you all could understand this about weaknesses. This
passage coming up from 2 Corinthians 12 perfectly explains our
weaknesses.

To keep me from becoming conceited
because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a
thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I
pleased with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My
grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in
weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my
weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for
Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in
persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
-2 Corinthians 12:7-10

This passage blows my mind. Have you
ever sat down and thought about what God was saying to Paul when He
said, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect
in weakness." God's power is made perfect in our weakness. That
means it is acceptable to be weak, because God's power is made
perfect through it. That doesn't mean you shouldn't go to God and
repent of your sins and ask for help with overcoming sin issues. It
means that God will bring you through something where there is no way
you can get through it on your own, and it will bring God glory.
There are so many other things that this verse says, but I want you
to think about it for yourselves. What does this mean in reference to
your walk with Christ? What does this say to you? I challenge you to
apply this to your life, and see where it brings you.