Love of my life
Look deep in my eyes
There you will find what you need
I’m the giver of life
I’ll clothe you in white
My immaculate bride you will be
Come running home to me
You’re my beloved
Lover I’m yours
and Death shall not part us
It’s you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we’ll be
Our Love it unites us
and it binds you to me
This song is “Beloved” by Tenth Avenue North. I guess this might seem like a trend…where I post lyrics to a song and then dissect them. This isn’t that kind of blog. There is a story that goes along with this. But it is more appropriately called a God Story.
On Sundays here in Mexico, we don’t go to “church.” This is mainly because the area we are living in is not like America, where we are packed in like sardines. If we went to the local church we would destroy them because of how small the church building is. We aren’t ignoring the Sabbath or anything like that, so don’t be worried! A lot of what we do is rest in Him, be still, worship, solitude, speak life, and other things. “From Him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work” Ephesians 4:16. The biggest thing for me, personally, is speaking truth. Every single time someone does this for me, I cry…I can guarantee it. Something about God speaking to someone else on my behalf because I am too hard headed to hear Him makes me very emotional. It’s not necessarily the part where I can’t hear what God needs me to know on my own that brings out the water works. Just that God is going out of his way for ME! I cannot fathom that! Our God is SO big, and yet He is going to someone else just to tell me, a sinner, something that I’m not able to hear out of my ignorance and lack of faith? I would totally go on and on about that, but I might freak you out or bore you to death.
This past Sunday, we started out the day with solitude…we, including everyone but me. I somehow slept through breakfast and 20 girls going in and out of our room. After all of that happened, we started worship. We did a new kind of worship this time. In addition to singing and praising and playing guitar, we worshiped God through art! There were colored pencils, sharpies, markers, colored paper, computer paper, and other art utensils all spread on the floor of the room. A couple songs into this worship time, I brought a teammate of mine aside and asked her if she wanted to make hemp bracelets. I bought alphabet beads the day before when we visited America (I love being able to say “visit” about my country where I am a citizen). Anyway, I felt God whispering the word “beloved” in my ear but I didn’t know why. I chose to put that word on my hemp bracelet since it was put on my heart. The interesting part about it is that I don’t know what beloved means in the biblical sense. I obviously know that it means to be loved, but at the time I wasn’t fully aware of what kind of love God means when he calls us His Beloved. And God took my leap of faith (me putting a word on a bracelet to wear around everyday, all day, that I didn’t understand) and used that to teach me, amaze me, and to speak life to me.
After my bracelet was all complete and tied on my wrist, something amazing happened. I went to the bathroom to wash up and for some reason I wanted to have my i-pod for this procedure, which takes about 5 minutes. I turned it on and pressed play and guess what song goes on? Beloved by Tenth Avenue North. I had never listened to that song before, and it started from the very beginning of the song which hardly ever happens because of the way I turn it on. Did that really just happen? Yes, it did really happen! This is what we, Novas participants, appropriately call a “God Story.”
This might not seem as huge to some of you as it seems to me. I have always had difficulties with believing that God loves me, and how much if that. But after this idiot-proof encounter with God, I really am starting to understand it and believe it. This song by Tenth Avenue North just about perfectly illustrates the Father’s love for us! And because all this happened, I took the initiative to look further into us being God’s Beloved in the bible. Song of Songs, although sometimes awkward, is all about us being His Beloved and His amazing love for us. Deuteronomy 33:12 does a swell job at describing this love: “May the Beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him, for He shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between His shoulders.”
Requests
-I have 6 or so weeks to raise $1600, which is when I will be in South Africa. I know that God will provide the way for this support to come in, I just need people to be perceptive to what God is putting on their heart and realize that things will be okay financially if they send in money on my behalf. Me being here in Mexico and going to South Africa is part of His plan. Me needing to raise a little over $1500 while I am not in the country is part of His plan. The Church and Christ’s body supporting missionaries is part of His plan, too. God knew that the economy would be hurting now, but still He is sending me away. The money will come in, it’s just a matter of people stepping up. Please be praying that this will all come together in time.
-Selene has been having stomach problems the past week, and has spent a day in the hospital. The doctor’s are asking her to stay in bed and get a lot of rest, but with how she lives that is next to impossible. Please be praying that God will be protecting her the next month or so of her pregnancy, and that the baby girl will stay healthy.
Goals
-I would really like to gain more confidence. Confidence in myself as a spiritual leader for other people, confidence in who I am in my team, and confidence that the Holy Spirit is working, living, and breathing inside me.
-I want to not be the girl on the sidelines. My goal is to be more outgoing and sure of myself, not afraid of what people think, and not feel awkward constantly!
*Yes, I do realize these goals are similar…it’s because it is such a big and important goal to me at present!
And thank you all so much for your daily prayers! Believe me, your prayers are being answered.
